Unchartered Waters - Part II

On one hand, I think it's sort of sad Ice Princess has never been in a meaningful relationship. On the other hand, she hasn't been in a meaningful relationship at her own choosing.

From talking to Ice Princess, it is clear to me she spent her formative years as the "Ugly Duckling." This caused her to feel inadequate and unworthy of attention. Unfortunately, even though her looks have come out of the "Ugly Duckling" stage, her mental state has not. She spent years feeling insignificant, and today is deathly afraid a guy is going to come along and "break her heart." Because she had immense disappointment as a young girl, she is very reluctant to "put herself out there." Basically, this results in her dating people she doesn't really care for. This allows her not only to ensure she can "dump" these guys without feeling disappointed, but also ensures she isn't hurt if one of these guys decides to dump her.

Along comes New Guy and the next thing you know, Ice Princess is in a relationship wherein she is no longer in control. Her immediate response to this loss of control was to end the relationship to regain control. This seems stupid to most of us. The way we see it is she likes New Guy and they really seem to enjoy spending time with one another, so why would Ice Princess end it. Remember, she was in effect emotionally scarred by rejection as a child. There is no way she wants to feel that kind of pain again, so as is usual, she would end the relationship just to ensure she's in control and doesn't get hurt any worse than the hurt she is already feeling from ending the relationship. A tough decision, but one Ice Princess feels she must make.

What kind of advice did I give in this situation? Remember, we all obviously see life from our own perspective. Knowing where Ice Princess was coming from, I simply decided to not center on her per se, but to give her the perspective of the rest of the population. I told her that we all have fear. Some of us run from that fear, which results in that fear always existing. Others choose to confront the fear, which usually results in the fear being shattered.

Whatever I said, it must have worked as Ice Princess decided not to end the relationship. I ran into Ice Princess and New Guy last week and they genuinely seemed happy.

Now I just hope Ice Princess continues to conquer her fears and goes on to live the life she deserves!

Mind Games: The Survey Says.....

Not surprisingly, during the last survey, all respondents voted that men were "better" at playing mind games.

How does this happen? Do men go through some "academy" when they reach puberty where they receive lessons and guidance in the art of trickery? Maybe their fathers simply sit down with them when they are young men and teach them all the lessons they will need to know in order to be successful MEN!

Do women not get this same training? I am pretty sure that under Title X (that's the Roman numeral ten for those of you who may not be bilingual) women are assured the same opportunities when it comes to education. Therefore, I doubt it is a class only offered to men.

What could it be? I have to believe men are "learning" this behavior by watching others in society who are engaged in similar activities. Plus, lets be honest. A woman is just as capable as playing a mind game as a man is; however, woman also have a gene that allows them to feel remorse after they are deceitful. These feelings typically lead them to a place where they make a decision not to mess with someone else in the future. Men, on the other hand, simply move on after they mess with someone. Well, they don't move on exactly. In order to perfect "their craft," they analyze the mistakes they made while playing the mind game, figure out how to be better next time, and then move on with little or no remorse. They feel no remorse. As a matter of fact, men typically feel powerful after on of these episodes. They don't then go out and try to mess with everyone; however, their past success ensures they don't shy away from these situations either.

Will the differences between the sexes ever cease to amaze me??

Unchartered Waters

As many of you may recall, months ago I was posting information about two young people in my office I referred to as Ice Princess and the New Guy. I was literally writing about how these two people individually told me they liked one another, yet neither was willing to take the first step to engage the other. I was basically trying to solicit reader inputs about how these two people might be able to get together.

Here were are at the tail end of September and Ice Princess and the New Guy actually got up the nerve to speak to one another and have now been dating for about 3 months. I can honestly say they both seem very happy and really appear to be enjoying spending time with one another. Ice Princess actually started to thaw!

Here’s the latest: About two weeks ago, Ice Princess went on a cruise to the Caribbean with friends and family. New Guy was not part of the trip as it had been planned months before he and Ice Princess started dating. Before the trip, Ice Princess gave New Guy a key to her apartment and asked him if he would be willing to take care of her cats and her mail. New Guy readily agreed. Additionally, Ice Princess informed New Guy that she had traveled to the Caribbean before and she did not feel she would have good cell phone coverage based on her past travels. Because of this, Ice Princess informed New Guy she didn’t know how often she would be able to make contact with him while she was gone. This didn’t seem strange and New Guy wasn’t worried before the trip.

While Ice Princess was on the trip, she did not make contact with New Guy; however, once she returned to the United States she called him. Things seemed to be fine.

However, once Ice Princess returned to work, she made absolutely no attempt to make contact with New Guy even though they normally made contact several times a day. New Guy was bothered somewhat by this, but not overly concerned.

The evening following Ice Princesses’ first day back at work is where things really started getting weird. New Guy contacted Ice Princess several times during the evening. During one of these contacts, Ice Princess told New Guy she was “confused.” This threw New Guy for a loop as he had no idea why Ice Princess would be confused.

As usual, the next morning, New Guy came to me, reported the latest happenings and then solicited my inputs about what might be going on. My initial feeling was that Ice Princess was confused as she has never been in a relationship where she felt this way. As you may recall, this is the same girl that deliberately dated the “wrong guy” because she knew it would be easier for her to break the relationship off. Now, she finds herself involved with someone she really does care about and is alarmed because she has never allowed herself to be involved in this way and really doesn’t know what she’s supposed to do.

(TO BE CONTINUED)

Big Bird!!!

Have I missed something? Is there something you need to tell me? Are you holding out on me? Why won't you just tell me????

Is there some strange law in the State of Colorado that makes all the other drivers on the road police officers or something? I only ask because for some reason people in and around Denver have a tendency to "flip me the bird" several times a week. This usually happens as I am in the middle of or have just passed them.

I can honestly say I am not a reckless driver. Having said that, I will freely admit I like to go fast. However, I never drive fast when other cars are around and when possible/within the law, I will never fore go an opportunity to pass a car in an effort to get wherever I am going just a little faster. Like I said, I am not afraid to admit I drive fast, but typically this is when I am driving down a barren road on the way to my office. I never drive dangerously, especially when there are other cars/people present.

Having admitted my tendency to drive fast, I am still amazed at how often I am "flipped off" during the week. Again, is it me or am I simply missing something? I guess it sometimes seems as if there is a law that says you can't pass another car even when you are clearly in a passing zone and aren't speeding. In other words, you shouldn't pass a car going 10 mph under the speed limit as this may upset these slow drivers.

Lord knows we don't want to upset these other drivers! This is even though they clearly aren't going the speed limit and apparently have no problem delaying everyone else who happens to be using "their" roadway.

All I can say is that as long as this "new" law remains in affect, there will be many more people giving me "the bird" as I refuse to allow these people to slow me down or offend me.

If you are one of these people, I will know who you are by the signal you send me with your middle finger. You will know who I am as I will be the guy laughing/smiling as I pass you and quickly fade from sight.